What happens in the produce aisle, stays in the produce aisle

Do you ever have moments while dealing with people, when you're rendered speechless? Some folks are just plain and simple wack jobs. What is a wack job you may ask? The Urban dictionary defines wack job as this:

"Someone who is crazy and/or has lost their mind and acts like a damn lunatic. Someone you should avoid at all costs as they may be a harm to yourself or others." Let's cross the street. We don't want to walk next to that wack job on the corner who's walking in circles and talking to himself.

While perusing the apple selection at my local Walmart, I encountered the strangest man. A wack job if you will.

Now apples are serious business for me. I'm definitely an apple snob. I don't want to bite into a soft mushy apple. Gross. They have to be crisp, flavorful, juicy, and pretty much delicious in every way. What was I doing at Walmart you may ask? I'd rather not say....but since I was there doing other things, I might as well find the tastiest apples they carry..... right? As I stood pondering a new variety, a man standing next to me was doing the same. He began to make idle chit chat about apples, and wondered if I knew anything about this mysterious apple variety. I knew nothing about it and said so. He then picked up an apple turned it in his hand and muttered to himself about wishing he could have a nibble. Resolutely he declared: "You know what?......." and then he took a ginormous bite out of the apple. I was a little startled and weirded out but I was curious too, so I asked him how it tasted. He turned to me with the apple held out and graciously offered to let me have a bite........"um no thank you". That was all I could say. I guess I could have said that I don't accept half eaten apples from strange men, but that might have been rude. Instead I turned around and walked away a fast as my little legs would carry me!

Oh people of Walmart you never fail to disappoint.